Recapping the 2022 MotoGP season finale with Boris

MotoGP 2022 – Round 20 – Valencia

We all kinda knew Pecco was going to win that. Sure, there is always a wee frisson of doubt, because MotoGP can be as unpredictable as a drunken hooker, but all things considered, he was gonna take the championship.

Of course, his ride was about as uninspiring an exercise in defensive lapping as one could possibly see. You can’t call it “racing”, because Pecco Bagnaia was not racing. He was just trying not to fall off.

But even if he did fall off, Fabulous would have had to win the race to take the trophy out of Pecco’s hands. And for his part, Fabulous was certainly trying his very best. Much as he has all year.

The commentators advised us all that Fabulous was not feeling the pressure. I am pretty sure he was. There was a lot at stake, after all. Pecco looked very much the bundle of nerves he certainly was. He also knew what was at stake – and for the Ducati team, it was a whole lot more than what Yamaha was betting.

Yamaha had made it to the final round thanks only to the genius of the defending world champion, Fabio Quartararo. He was to Yamaha what Marc Marquez was to HRC, ie. The only hope, eggs-all-in-one-basket, racer who takes a bike that’s not maybe as well-sorted as the others, and rides the blessed shit out of it.

Against him was an army of Ducatis. All ridden by outstanding riders and brilliant rookies. In terms of mountains that must be climbed, this was Everest for Fabulous. But he climbed it anyway. And he almost reached the summit. He was close.

But close only counts, as we all know, in horseshoes, hand grenades and thermo-nuclear weapons. It don’t mean crap in MotoGP.

The final weekend, the showdown, as it was billed, dawned bright and beautiful. Ducati had filled its garage with every conceivable executive, current and ex-racers and champions, celebrities, and hangers-on. Yamaha seemed to make do with some big man in unremovable sunnies who whispered endlessly to Lin Jarvis.

And Rossi, of course, was there – with a foot in both camps. Pecco was his VR46 graduate, but Yamaha was his beloved team, even though he did have a short vainglorious stint at Ducati, which both parties would seek to forget.

So the stage was set as only Dorna could set it. Pecco the nervous but deserving favourite who was to lead Ducati out of its decades-long darkness, and Fabulous the glorious and hugely likeable under-dog, despite being the world champion, cursed with a less-than-ideal bike.

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It’s almost a movie script, isn’t it?

There was nothing especially weird in the Practice and Qualifying sessions. Bezzecchi’s bike caught fire, Marini was spookily quick, Marquez was nursing a head-cold but still blinding fast on the odd lap, and Jack Miller was once again filling our hearts with hope.

The front row was unremarkable. Martin on pole, followed by Marquez and Miller. Behind them was Fabulous, Rins, and Maverick – who seems to be finding his feet rather late in the season. The third row was Binder, Pecco, and Zarco.

The times were all very close – the top 16 separated by less than a second. Pecco had looked hesitant during Qualifying. Understandably not willing to risk a championship on a track that had claimed a few scalps due to the cold right-hand-side of the tyre suddenly being asked to hang on.

But no-one actually expected what happened when the lights went out. Rins came charging through the lot of them, and then just kept right on charging. He had a brilliant and dominating race – and I’m sure HRC will once again want to know why Puig decided to hire the relentlessly unimpressive Mir, rather than his altogether brilliant team-mate.

Martin, Miller, and Marquez followed on Rins’ heels, with Fabulous and Pecco right behind them. Fabulous was aggressive from the start. He and Pecco had a slight coming together which costs Pecco a winglet off his Ducati and Tardozzi’s heart-rate monitor to spike into triple figures.

Fabulous was quickly past Jack, but Jack passed him right back, as did Pecco. Fabulous fought back savagely, and passed Pecco back and set off after Jack. Pecco was now probably wondering if maybe he should just leave this fight alone. But the Italian had one more pass on Fabulous in him and it kinda stuck for a while.

Brad Binder, trying out a new chassis which he quite seemed to like, had moved himself into seventh behind Fabulous, who once again soldiered past Pecco.

Pol Espargaro visited his beloved gravel again, his brother, the Captain, retired into the pits, followed a few laps later by his team-mate, Maverick. Aprilia’s championship campaign had ended with a whimper, rather than a bang.

Bagnaia now looked to be holding people up. The first of those people was Brad Binder, who had obviously been hiding his massive talent under a rock for most of the season. On this day, the rock was gone and Brad was on fire.

Alex Marquez found the smaller rocks, as did Cal Crutchlow, and Fabulous was riding as fast as the leaders, but he was still in fourth. He needed to be riding faster than the leaders if he had any hopes of winning – and even then, Pecco needed to finish in 15^th or crash.

Marc Marquez crashed coming into Turn 8, while Rins, Martin, and Miller still kept Fabulous at bay.  But there was no keeping Brad Binder at bay. He was coming hard on Fabulous.

Pecco, back in seventh, was now holding up Joan Mir and Miguel Oliveira. Mir went past him and Oliveira began to size him up as well.

Further ahead, it was starting to look like Fabulous was gaining a little on Jack, but Brad was also gaining on Fabulous. Zarco took this opportunity to plough some rocks, while Miguel used Turn Four to go around Pecco.

Binder also snatched fourth place from Fabulous in Turn Four, and I was wondering if maybe the South African would be able to drag Fabulous towards the front. There were ten laps left, and Pecco was still steadily drifting backwards to where the crazy people were.

Luca Marini then passed Pecco and now he was well into the clutches of the Beast.

Rins, hammering on, was starting to look uncatchable as the laps ticked down, and the championship was all but Bagnaia’s. At this stage, Rins would have to fall off (vaguely possible), Martin would need to crash (more than possible), Miller would need to eat gravel (certainly possible), and also Binder and Bagnaia would need to tumble.

It was all starting to look improbable rather than impossible. But shortly after Binder went past Jack, Jack crashed. Fabulous was back in fourth, and The Ducati garage was praying and twitching like a medieval congregation.

Binder then flew past Martin, again in Turn Four, and then it all just settled and went that way until the end.

Pecco Bagnaia was now the new world champion. The first Italian to win on an Italian bike since Giacomo Agostini in 1972.

We were then treated to a very banal celebration, which involved mathematics. Apparently, if you add up Pecco’s two previous race numbers, you get his current race number. Who knew? Who cared? And these are the T-shirts the Factory Ducati team had been carting around for the last three rounds?

Sure, there was the gorgeous golden helmet, which was in a box that Pecco unlocked using these six race numbers. No dancing bears, no chorus girls, no crazy girlfriend running down the track – nothing at all of any note or wow factor.

Yes, I still miss Rossi. And Jorge Lorenzo. They knew how to make it memorable when they won.

And that’s that for the year.

Thank you all for your interest in my reports, and thanks to Trev for the gig. By the time you read this, the Valencia test will be upon us, and we start to prepare for next year. See you all then, I guess.

Valencia MotoGP Results 2022

MotoGP Championship Points Standings

MotoGP Constructor Championship

MotoGP Team Championship Standings