Here comes George Jetson! – Jet syle exhaust for Ducati?
News broke recently that Ducati had filed some patents in regards to a new type of exhaust valve system, that they presumably are testing for use in competition, or evaluating for an upcoming road going sportsbike variant.
While exhaust valves are nothing new, the traditional format of a flat plane butterfly valve has morphed into something a lot more intricate in these patent drawings, supposedly from Ducati, that feature a variable geometry style ‘jet’ valve that, in theory, might also control the angle of the exhaust gases for some sort of aerodynamic or thrust benefit…
These diagrams have been doing the rounds on the internet this week leading to all sorts of conjecture that they might be destined for use in MotoGP.
Funnily enough, the latest images of the Desmosedici MotoGP machine do feature an exhaust valve of some kind but, for now, at least, it does seem to be of the more traditional type of exhaust valve. However, Ducati have also stated that this machine is not yet the finished product that will be the 2017 Desmosedici that fronts the grid at round one.
Will a different sort of valve, something more akin shown in these drawings see the light of the day when the lights go out to signal the start of MotoGP 2017? Who knows….
But, in the interim, Boris has penned an amusing piece of satire concerning the new exhaust developments and dubbed it, ‘George Jets On’…
Hopefully some of you are old enough to get the reference to the cartoon series ‘The Jetsons’, which featured as its main character George J. Jetson.
George Jets On – With Boris Mihailovic
It’s approaching crunch time in the Ducati MotoGP garage-cum-nursery. The start of the 2017 season is scant weeks away and testing is virtually upon them.
The new guy, George, is from Spain, has a few titles notched on his speed hump and is trying to decide if Maranello Red is really his colour.
He knows this is 2017, and 2017 is not going to be like 2016. Of course it’s not. Of the many things that have been changed, including George yelling at Italians in Spanish and demanding long-range rain-forecasts, and him not having to look at that Italian bastard Rossi all the time, is that there are no more winglets on the bikes.
Which will probably affect Ducati the most, given it had like maybe a dozen each on both Dovizioso’s and Iannone’s bikes last year. The winglets kind of worked too. Iannone won the Austrian round and Dovi took out Malaysia – both fast tracks where the downforce provided by the winglets would have played a part.
But they are no more.
“No more winglets, George,” Luigi ‘Gigi’ Dall’Igna said to George shortly after his signature had dried on the contract parchment.
“You’re shitting me,” George replied, throwing his helmet into pitlane. “Next thing you’re gonna tell me is rain is forecast for at least seven races. Hijo de puta!”
“I don’t know about the rain, George,” Gigi shrugged. “But I do know we cannot have winglets.”
George’s eyes filled with steely, manful tears.
Gigi’s heart broke a little bit.
“It’s OK,” he said. “We have a secret weapon. Claudio is very excited.”
“Who is Claudio?” George asked, opening a fresh helmet.
“Claudio Domenicali,” Gig replied. “Our Boss. Did you see what he told the media last week?”
“No,” George said. “I do not media.”
Gigi sighed. It was going to be a long season.
“We have made the bike faster, George,” he said.
“How?” George asked.
“Claudio has told the media that it’s confidential, but it’s part of the advanced development we are running, and something we have never run before. And there is a very good increase in performance.”
George blinked.
“What is it?”
Gigi’s eyes darted around the garage, but everyone’s attention was on their work and one mechanic was looking for George’s helmet in pit-lane. Gigi leaned in close to George.
“Jets,” he hissed in George’s ear.
“Jets?” George repeated.
“Si,” Gigi nodded. “Jets.”
“On the bike?”
Gigi smiled. “We have even patented it. Want to see?”
George nodded.
Gigi showed him the drawings. They looked like this…
George looked at the drawings for a while then handed them back to Gigi.
“I want winglets,” he said.
“But this is better than winglets!” Gigi grinned. “It’s like a fighter jet!”
“A fighter jet?”
“Si! We have put these little petals inside the exhaust and small electric motors open and close them, like on a fighter jet. So when the petals make the exhaust smaller, you have more thrust.”
“Thrust?” George said, looking a little confused.
“Si, thrust!” Gigi smiled. “And this is the best part. Because of how the exhaust is angled, the thrust tries to rotate the bike forwards around its centre of gravity.”
“So I will crash even more than I did last season,” George grimaced.
“No, no, no!” Gigi threw up his hands. “This means it’s reducing the bike’s tendency to wheelie.”
“I don’t like wheelies,” George said.
“No-one does,” Gigi agreed. “They slow you down.”
George nodded. “So this works like the winglets?”
“Si, but with added thrust so you can go faster and not wheelie.”
“So you’ve tested it and it works?” George asked.
There was a long silence.
“Well, no,” Gigi finally said. “We’ve just patented it.”
“When are you going to try it then?”
Gigi smiled, his superb teeth gleaming in the bright garage fluoroes. “You like surprises, don’t you, George?”
